I commented on a thread the other day in response to somebody who was staking a claim for the ‘girls like dolls/boys like trucks’ point of view. (Waste of time, I’m sure, but I did it anyway). I noted the subtle way these tendencies had been produced or reinforced by the staff at the daycare Antonia attended. Little boys who picked up dolls were ignored, whereas the adults interacted a lot with girls who did the same thing, asking them all kinds of questions about the doll. All of it completely unconscious.
One way or the other, our children grow up with gendered perspectives, but it isn’t always as straightforward as it seems. Yesterday, Antonia described and drew for me the transport she wants to own as an adult. It’s a massive, powerful, monster of a purple motorbike, with a propellor and a retractable raincover. Batman would be proud of it. It also has four seats, for her babies and her dear old Mum (me), and a sidecar with nappy changing facilities!
My son loves babies. I made Waldorf dolls for both my kids last Christmas and I heard people say that I was not encouraging Leonardo’s masculinity.
I think kids want to do what we do, they imitate us. My son has seen his father taking care of his little sister and he thinks that’s normal. When he plays with his doll he’s “dad”, not “mom”. So he knows he is a boy. But he also knows that men can look after a baby. I am sure he will be a great father, someday.